I know I haven’t blogged in a while, and have many big things to talk about, like moving and going to Obama’s inauguration. But instead, I’m going to post a blog about this weird guy sitting next to me in the Wegmans Cafe. (the meaningful blog will come soon).
So I’m sitting here in the main level cafe, and its just a bunch of arm chairs in a ring around the outside wall. Its not as intimate as some cafes or coffee shops in the sense that there is a lot of space between us, but we are still in public. This is an important point to note.
About 30 minutes ago, this older man (I’m guessing early 70’s) sat down a few chairs away from me with his coffee and his iPod, and nothing else- no reading material, no laptop. I’m begining to understand this as a warning sign of annoying people. So first he sits down and lets out a big loud grunt/sigh. I’m willing to overlook this because, well, I’m getting older and I know that sometimes when you are old, you make noises like that when you sit down into a low armchair. Then he gets out his iPod and puts in the earphones and picks a playlist and this is all accompanied by his own soundtrack of mutterings and giggles. I kid you not, giggles. These are not the mutterings of a confused old man outdone by technology. These are the muttering, I’m begining to understand, of an old man, perfectly comfortable with technology, and over comfortable with being in public.
After the appropriate play list for sitting in Wegman’s Cafe has been selected, we take a big gulp of our very hot coffee and follow it with a very loud “MMMM, AHHHHH” and some good old lip smacking.
This is when I start to get annoyed and start to contemplate the concept of Public vs Private Behavior.
A few minutes pass in silence and I get some work done (Ok, fine, I spend some time on Facebook, whatever. Point is I’M sitting here quietly). Suddenly I notice humming. I look over and he’s sitting there in his arm chair, coffee held aloft in his right hand, sunglasses that are too young for him perched on his nose under the brim of the baseball cap covering his shaggy looking gray hair, and he is jammin to the music coming from his earbuds. He’s tapping his foot, he’s humming, he’s mouthing words, he’s bobbing his head, and he clearly has no concept that he’s not in his living room armchair, but instead in a cafe in a grocery store.
The humming stops, which was really the most bothersome aspect of his display because it draws my attention, but now I’m obsessed. I’m obsessed with why he’s sitting here, in Wegmans, for so long, with just a cup of coffee and his iPod. There is a voice in my head that says I should admire his freedom of spirit, his refusal to be hemmed in by notions of Public vs private behavior because, really, WHO decided what those lines where anyway?
But then he starts wistling, and I’m again annoyed. I tell the voice in my head to shut up. I don’t care who decided the line between public and private appropriate behavior, because I AGREE with them.
I like to rock out to my iPod as much as the next person, and I do. Often. IN MY HOME. When I’m at home, I’ll turn up the music and sing loudly, dance wildly even, or just sit and hum or whistle occasionally. But who cares if I do because I do it at home where the only people to be bothered are possibly the neighbors, unsuspecting people passing on the street, or the dog. (Although I suspect the dog enjoys the dancing. Just a theory at this point though).
I wish this guy’s public displays of musical enjoyment didn’t bother me that much. I really do want to be the kind of person who looks at someone acting oustide of social norms, ignoring convention and rules and says “well done, sir! Be free, be unique. Enjoy your life!” But I’m not. I’m just not. Instead I’m annoyed, I’m obsessed with knowing why, knowing what his deal is. I, and all of the other people in this cafe, have the ability (or is it more a question of respect? ) to sit quietly, enjoy the ambiance, the sun, the coffee, whatever sensory stimulation you receive from sitting in the Wegmans cafe, without violating the public vs private boundaries of behavior, and I just don’t understand why that isn’t true for this person.
He’s gone now. He whisteled one last song, packed up his stuff with much ado, and then fairly skipped down the stairs and out the door into the parking garage. The voice in my head says “Maybe you are jealous of how free and happy he is. He’s clearly retired, and has the luxury of sitting in a cafe doing nothing but drinking coffee and listening to music for 45 minutes on a weekday morning.” And I consider this point and come to the conclusion that its not jealously. I’m happy with my life, and I have time to sit in wegmans for 2 hours on a weekday morning and blog, facebook and even do a little work. I’d rather have my Wegmans experience than his – I’d rather use my public time for working and my private time for singing loudly instead of whistling and for dancing than tapping my foot. But that’s just me. Clearly.
